Moment of Humanity & Benevolence (…I walked away sort of dumbfounded not fully realizing what had just happened.)

1/2000 sec at f/4.0 ISO 200 67mm (EF24-105mm f/4L IS USM

Picking up a camera was something that changed the course of my life. In the beginning I just I was just like any other person who held a camera in their hands, I just wanted to capture a photograph of something. As time passed, I became more interested and wanted to capture better images. No great revelation here, this happens to many people who become interested in photography. I learned early on that a better camera certainly did not mean a photographer would capture better images (don’t tell the camera companies). I soon started to learn the rules of composing a photo. Learning all the simple rules such as the rule of thirds, the rule of odds, finding leading lines and so on. As they always say “you learn the rules before you are allowed to break the rules” (if I could only get through a post without a cheesy cliché) .

Still, something was missing… With each camera I would learn every single thing the camera could and could not do. All those buttons and settings that scare the novice camera user became common place to me. Somewhere along the line I learned the most important and simplest rule of all. “If you want to capture an interesting image you need to put something interesting in front of the lens”. Now, of course photography like beauty, art, music ect… is very subjective. However, one element that seems to have a common thread with all our eyes is humanity. When you put the element of humanity in front of your lens you have a great chance of capturing an interesting image. Still the image can be judged subjectively while remaining interesting.

This is what led me to capture more images of people and I did. Often time capturing photos of people who did not know I was capturing them. This drew criticism from some and praise from others. The criticism often came from those who were the subject of the photo but only if they seen the photo lol. If they never seen it, they obviously couldn’t criticize it. I understand it and I get it; I get the fact that some people are not comfortable having their photo taken without their permission. This then led me to learning how to move to a place where I could get people to be comfortable and let me capture them. I found this to be easier than it sounds, just you need to have to have a lot of confidence in what you do, be approachable and very open about what you do. Often times the biggest thing of all is making the person feel that they or what they are doing is very worthy of capturing a photo of. In my opinion it is for the most part, all about the approach you use when asking them.

This photo we are looking at today has a backstory as any photo does and this one is interesting… at least to me.

I had spent the day on a NYC River Boat tour photographing and all-day party. My wife is a Thai lady and at the time she belonged to a Thai lady’s social group. The group had chartered a boat to spend a day of fun with music, food and friends while the boat left out of New Rochelle and headed up the East River to the Intrepid Aircraft Carrier at which point it turns around and heads back. It was June 23, 2013 and it was a rather hot day. I was there as a photographer to capture the happenings of the party. However, truth be told; these kinds of events are pretty boring from a photography stand point. I would essential just take pictures of people dancing and posing on the deck with different sights as a backdrop. Everyone wanted a photo with the Statue of Liberty in the background and that was about the most interesting thing that I would have captured if I didn’t get a little proactive and start asking questions and looking for something special.  At one point asked a crew member if I could photograph the captain in the wheelhouse. The captain granted me the permission, I shot about 15 photos inside the wheelhouse. While I did get some very nice images of the captain it still wasn’t what I was looking for.

After we returned to the dock at the end of our day of fun I stayed behind on deck because the crew asked me if I would take some group photos of them and I did. I shook hands with the crew and headed down the gangplank to find my wife and friends, who had fled quickly to the coolness of an air-conditioned car. As I was leaving the boat, I seen this man gathering all the trash bags the crew had thrown on the dock. As I approached the man he turned and looked right at me, I stopped and looked him right in the eye and said “how’s it going today” he replied “I’m fine”. I then held up my camera and asked “would you mind if I took photo of you.” “Why not at all he replied” (in a surprised voice) and I raised the camera took one nice shot (I think). I thanked him and walked away. Because I only took one shot, I wasn’t really sure how it looked.

Now the real story here is the feeling I got from him before I captured the photo. When I first see him, he is wrangling with all these large garbage bags, the weather is very hot and he is sweating. Most people I would think would not want to be bothered and certainly not have their photo taken. But when I asked him if I could take his photo his whole body relaxed and this huge genuine smile appeared as he said the words “why not at all”. For a second, I thought I was going to get a big smiling face photo and that would have been fine by me. However, all of the sudden he takes just a second to compose himself and falls into this very composed demeanor as if he were a CEO and I was capturing a corporate headshot. He gave off this genuine feeling that not only did he not mind having his photo taken he also was very serious about it being a nice photo. There was this moment of humanity & benevolence that had just occurred between the two of us. I’m asking to capture a photo if him and he is going to oblige me with the best that he can do and it was amazing. I walked away sort of dumbfounded not fully realizing what had just happened. It wasn’t until I was in the car on the way back home and looking at the photo that it totally hit me. This man was so happy someone had asked to take his photo, I think happier than anyone I had ever asked before. And this one moment changed the whole way I think about asking to capture someone’s photo.

Later the next week I had emailed a crewmember the photos that I had taken of them at the end of the day and I included this man’s photo and asked if he would at least show it to the gentleman so he could see it or maybe even print it out for him.  

Thank you for reading and have a great day.

The Autumn Witch (a different Halloween photo shoot)

The Autumn Witch 

Just the mere mention of the word Halloween will conjure up images of witches along with the rising of a full moon on a cold autumn night. Today we often think of the green faced witch with the pointed hat from the story The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. However, most of us know that a true witch was something different. In Shakespeare’s Macbeth the image of a witch was depicted as an old wart ridden crone and yet again this could be somewhat misleading. Truth be told witches could have been young or old, rich or poor and ugly or as beautiful as can be. 

In most cases the label “witch” was something that was bestowed upon a female by the society that surrounded her, by the people whom she knew as members of her community, her church, friends and often her own family. It did not take much to acquire the label of being a witch. All you had to be was different, look different, talk different or be able to do something out of the norm such as cure a sickened person with some herbs & wild roots. Being different was truly the key thing that all witches had in common. Sometimes her difference was that she stood strong and she spoke up to be heard above the men. Going against the grain of society could often be a death sentence for a woman of these early times in history.  

While we have all heard the stories of witches being burned to death, many were hanged or died during the torture of an inquisitor. And then there were the few… There are a few incidents in history where accused witches merely perished from the sight never to be seen again. This only added to her guilt and the mystery of her magical powers, when in reality she had just slipped out of town under the cover of the nights darkness and cast herself to a life of solitaire among the forests and the fields.  

So, it is here we find our beautiful Autumn Witch wandering her new found queendom. A queendom she presides over not as a ruler but, as a care taker, for we know the true ruler of the forests & fields is the queen of all queens Mother Nature herself. However, the Autumn Witch will spend her time becoming one with the wildlife and the land of which she dwells. She will bathe in the pure water of the mountain streams and adorn her beauty with that which Mother Nature provides her. Once a witch and now a queen she wears her new found crown with peace, dignity and pride.  Peace and solitude preserve her beauty and allow her inner spirit to grow and glow beyond that of any woman bound by the chains of society’s oppression. Yes, she “is” truly different… with and unbreakable spirit, inner & outer beauty and a mind of her own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The name says it all… “A different Halloween photo shoot.” 2020 has certainly taken a toll on my photo shoot creativity. Due to restrictions from the virus crisis the budget for a creative photo shoot just did not exist. You can have all the creativity you want however, if there is no budget the creativity will just sit inside your mind and… well, that is about it, it will just sit there. It is kind of like being hungry and having no money for food.  

In January I had set many goals for my photography for 2020. One goal was to achieve an awesome Halloween photo shoot such as I did back in 2016 when I wanted to create a portrait of a clown. The idea was an evil clown walks into a studio to have a photographer create a portrait of him. The shoot had a budget that allowed for a paid model and SFX makeup artist. Without a budget there would have been no makeup and therefore no clown and no shoot. 

The virus crisis killed many people and that is truly the saddest thing about 2020. But there was a lot of collateral damage from the crisis with shutdowns and job loss. My photography business has been almost nothing, other than a few portrait jobs here and there. Certainly, no big jobs like weddings or events. 

As the year was passing by, I watched as many of my goals fall by the wayside and I did not think much about it. As Halloween was approaching, I suffered with the death of a 30-year-old family member who suffered from addiction and then my elderly mother was injured in a fall. Could 2020 be any worse of a year? Yes, actually it, could.  

I had actually told the model whom I been planning on shooting with that I was cancelling all future shoots until further notice. I felt I needed to take a step back and… Then it just hit me, the thought that I was letting it win. “It” being the year 2020 and all the horrible misfortune we have all had to deal with. I’m not a quitter, I have never quit anything. I have been beaten down, beaten up and left a bloody mess by many things in my life and all those beatings have been the result of not quitting.  

So only a few days after telling the model I was cancelling all future shoots, I contact her and contradict myself saying I want to do a shoot. (My whole life has been a contradiction lol.) It would be a Halloween shoot and like 2020 it will be not a normal Halloween shoot. Actually, I had no real idea because in January I had set a goal but had never came up with an idea because Covid hit and everything came to a grinding halt.  

So, I turn to my various places for inspiration. Places like magazines, (remember them) yes, I still subscribe to various magazines like Vanity Fair, Vogue, Cowgirl and more. I also spent hours looking at 500px.com and Pinterest as well Instagram. I think it was Instagram that I was looking at when I came to the realization that most all Halloween shoots involve makeup, lots of makeup. I found a little money for a budget but, not enough for makeup & wardrobe. So, let’s just go with wardrobe. As for a theme… I just sat there thinking “Halloween” and how many times I see girls dress up as cats & witches. Then It struck me that the typical “Halloween Witch” with the black dress and pointy hat is as far from what a true witch even looked like. And then I remembered years ago reading a book (can’t remember the name) about a girl in medieval times who was accused of being a witch. She never really did any real hocus pocus and her crime was that she was good looking and out spoken. The other women had deemed her an “odd character” because she drew the attention of men, sang to herself and when a child in the village she had been looking after became unexplainably ill… well you know how the story goes after that. She’s different so she must be a witch. Before they could round her up and put her on trial, she disappeared. Her disappearance only confirmed that she must be guilty and confirmed she was in fact a witch. In reality, she had slipped out of town in the middle of the night and lived as an outcast in the forest… and then the story continued on. 

So, there it is, that is my photo shoot idea. It will be a different kind of witch photo shoot because 2020 has been a different kind of year lol.  

As I was putting together all the ideas for the shoot wardrobe, location, shooing date ect… I thought about how today’s society is not much different than that of long ago. Being different always comes with a price tag. Being different comes with scrutiny, labels and judgments. But, being different is what make life exciting.  

Happy Halloween 2020 

 

Subjectivity (…like walking in the dark with a dim flashlight. .)

By The Sea

 

Art is subjective and photography is art. I once had to sit through a three hour meeting about sexual harassment. I was working at a company and all the employees were corralled into a general assembly and given bagels, sugary pastries and coffee. Then the meeting started as a well versed speaker took the stage and proceeded to tell us all the evils of sexually harassing a fellow coworker. I felt as though I was missing something… as if something was going over my head. I certainly know the difference between right and wrong and as a man I certainly know how to not be disrespectful to a fellow employee be it male or female. But where’s the line? Where is the definitive line? Certainly the behavior the speaker was describing and some of the scenarios were explicit descriptions of things I had seen people (both men & women) do many times in the workplace and no one ever got in any trouble at all. But I sat silent trying desperately to grasp something I had missed. Maybe it was the sugar high from the bagels… I must have missed something. So at the end the speaker asked if anyone had questions and I certainly did. I asked back (in a perplexed way); “While I understand most all of what you spoke of here today, I still do not understand when a person has actually been harassed? Where is that definitive line? The speaker quickly came back with the answer “there is no definitive answer, it is subjective.” Some people may like the behavior and others may find it harassing.” I said nothing, but I wanted to kill someone. You mean I had to sit here for three hours to learn that sexual harassment is subjective. Oh well the bagels were free.

So as a photographer and creative person who loves to produce images that fall somewhere between real and not real this topic of “subjectivity” for me is like walking in the dark with a dim flashlight. Like most all people I know I want to create images that are pleasing to others… but how? How and the hell do you accomplish this task if everything you do is “subjective?” So my answer is “I gave up trying a long time ago” and now I just have fun with it. I rely on composition skills such as rule of thirds, leading lines, rule of odds and so on. The rest is “whatever mood I’m in at the moment and what I have to work with as far as elements. As for; “does anyone else like it?” If someone is holding a print in their hand and they proclaim they like it, sure I take them seriously. If someone is paying me money to create something for them, then I truly believe they like my work… or they’re blind lol. If someone follows me on social media, keeps following me and comments in a heartfelt way, then again “yes” I feel they like what I do. But for all the followers who just push the red heart or hit the like button… that doesn’t mean dittly squat to me. And for sure, to the Time for Print models that come strolling along and fawn all over my work… just save your time and breath with all the honey tongue comments about how much you like my work. Just get to the point and ask if you can have free photography. I know that all sounds a little harsh, but I’m just laying out the facts and these words come without anger, but they do come with reality. Remember it is all subjective and money is what pays the bills, not hearts & likes and sweet comments.

However I am very happy with these two images and I would like to unveil them here on my blog for the first time. Thanks for reading and have a great day everybody.

Stadium Game Face

Sinister Clown Project Shoot (As far as looks Nicole is everything Pennywise is not. )

I am just a week away from my most planned out project shoot of 2016. I had set a goal at the beginning of the year to “create images with impact” and unlike the typical new year’s resolutions that fall by the wayside a few weeks into the year, my goal still haunts me. It has been a struggle; however I have created a few images that are portfolio worthy. When it comes to my portfolio it is like a game, there are self-imposed rules. First rule is that there are a certain number of images in the portfolio and in order to add an image I must take an image out. So essentially the new image has to dethrone another… and that is the hard part, deciding what goes and what stays and what new images are worthy to add. So this first rule really does dictate most everything.

With all that said I started the year off pretty good with the close distorted facial shot of Nixlot Dameus, it was different, it was creative and it was planned. I hit my mark and I was happy. I could also say the same with the “Ice Princess” look I did with Kendall. Although the shoot was cut short due to time spent on makeup I was able to get an image that was worthy of making a composite that was then worthy of portfolio contention. Then came Ryan McNally and his shoot while being more of a test shoot, it still yielded a good image worthy of gracing the portfolio pages. Many times people helping me with a shoot such as an assistant or even the model are often surprised to hear me say “well… if we come away with five good images today I’ll be happy.” They usually look at me like “he’s got to be kidding” or “he must be a horrible photographer,” when in reality I’m totally serious. Hell if creating portfolio worthy images was that easy, life would be no fun.

So this leads us to the present day turmoil of the “Sinister Clown” shoot. I spoke about it in my latest video update on the YouTube channel, but I will elaborate a little more here.

So to recap; Stephen King wrote a short novel of 1156 pages called “It” and there was a movie or rather a TV mini-series created in 1990. The book is impeccable and King is at his best. The movie was not so great. In my opinion the movie started off great but it started to falter about midway through. In all fairness putting King’s writing into a visual form like a movie is extremely hard to do. So when I see the new revamped images of Pennywise the dancing clown that will appear in the remake of “It” due to be released in 2017, I was really taken back and became very interested. So much so that I decided to use those images as an inspiration for a detailed project photo shoot. Pennywise is one of the many forms that “It” takes on while in our universe and he feed on the flesh and fear of young children. …I know …King is a master at this kind of stuff. So I called the shoot the “Sinister Clown” shoot and proceeded. Now truth be told I had already had an idea for a clown shoot and my original idea was very much the same although not as intense.

So there were many things to plan. Who would be the model, who will do make up and where the hell can I get decent wardrobe. After all I want this to be… as makeup artist say “an HD look” meaning “high definition.” “HD” is the big buzz word these days in the makeup and FX world. We used to say “movie quality” and now it is HD… Whatever!

So I asked a cosplay model who dresses up as a clown often and she was all in. Well until her personal life took a turn and she was relocating. So here we go we are hitting barriers before the race even starts.

I put a casting call out on Model Mayhem. Well let me tell you there is a reason why it is called “Model Mayhem” and that Mayhem part is a wild ride. I specifically asked for models that had experience in “cosplay” and it resulted in getting hits from models who clearly can’t read.

Then I get one model that looks valid and appears to be creative, says “yes” and she can do her own makeup and I tell her what the inspiration is for the shoot. She agrees and then starts adding her own inspiration that is not in the same direction as mine. Essentially what turns me on about the new Pennywise is that he does not look like a standard clown. In the 1990 movie the clown was very standard Claribel-ish or Ronald McDonald-ish. The new Pennywise scares me… and I’m not afraid of clowns at all. So this model wanted to go in a different direction AND… after all that she tells me she will be free in a few weeks. Hello…

Here again it is hard to convey your passion, inspiration and importance to others. So when you do find that special person that clicks it is like being in love, two creatives on the same level is rare and amazing all at the same time. I have to stop and say that every one of my project shoots gets treated as if it is a paid shoot. That my friend is how you learn and how you get better. My projects have deadlines and must meet my expectations to be considered a success in the end. Sure it creates stress, but I always say “no stress, no success” and that is how I roll. Now I don’t always transfer that stress to a model because I want him/her to be relaxed and natural. All the while I’m the one stressing over the shoot.

So two years ago a young lady by the name of Jade left a really nice heartfelt comment on my Mayhem page after viewing my work. I reached out to her and thanked her. We had a wonderful phone conversation and I got the feeling she was a true creative person. I ran off to Thailand a few weeks later and we lost touch. But I remembered her and I found her again. I presented the idea to her and she was down with it, so I commissioned her to do the Sinister Clown look. She has given me a hope of confidence that she can create an HD look.

So now for the model… Oh the model? So I changed direction and went 180 degrees the opposite direction. This cannot be a Time For Print model, this has to be someone who can take direction, someone I can trust to show up and someone I like to work with. So I asked Nicole Gallagher the beautiful face you see on the opening page of my website. As far as looks Nicole is everything Pennywise is not. She is pretty, elegant, female and just a really sweet person to work with. Pennywise on the other hand… well is an evil rotten clown with fangs. But Nicole holds all the qualities to make for a great shoot. On time, takes direction well and is a cool person to work with. So I asked and she said yes, yes to sitting for 2 plus hours while Jade applies the FX makeup that will be composed of a special prosthetic head-piece that Jade will custom make.

Now we have a model and a makeup artist, all we need is wardrobe. So I got an idea to shoot the Sinister Clown in a “Renaissance” context. I had seen it done with Batman, Robin, The Joker, and The Cat Woman and so on. This then entailed many hours of searching on the internet and those hours turned to days and finally I found a rental place in Oregon that had something that I hope will work.

And lastly I will say that I am currently working on lighting diagrams for all the different shots. So yes this shoot is complexed. Will it turn out great images? Time will tell. And as a side project I hope to shoot a time-lapse of the makeup application as well as behind the scenes video.

Please stay tuned and I will be talking more about this project in the coming days & weeks.

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I Love My Blog (When I first started up with my blog it seemed almost pointless, but as time passed…)

Model Whan Nasert-Corrente 1/125 sec at f/8.0 ISO 50 105mm

I miss writing blog posts. Although I did not write them every day I still miss doing it. I have spent so much time the past few weeks working on the new YouTube channel and trying to populate it with content. Trying to get the channel up and moving so to speak so it won’t be so pathetic and boring. However in the past 3 to 4 years that I have been writing periodic blog post I feel I have improved my writing skills somewhat and I have learned to keyword and hashtag and all that other fun stuff that sometime feels like you’re doing nothing. But when I Google a model’s name and my images appear at the top of the list or at least in the ten results I guess whatever I’m doing is working.

When I first started up with my blog it seemed almost pointless, but as time passed I found that writing blog posts did more than promote my images, it helped me think more about my photography and what I wanted to accomplish. It gave me a “focus” (pardon the pun) of sorts. It also gave a platform for people to rip-off my images and “yes” that has happened too, but I think that happens to almost every photographer today who has somewhat interesting images posted to the internet.

So while video is the thing of the future I will still continue to write posts and attach images to them. I like writing because it is a time when I sit down and relax, collect my thoughts and focus on an image. Vlogging is very different because I have to edit the content and render the video and then upload to YouTube or wherever. Either way vlogging is very different. I thought it would be easier because I would not have to type… I type slowly and I am constantly checking my grammar and spelling, however once the post is written and completed and ready for upload all I have to do is proof read and hit “publish.” As opposed to the editing and rendering of video that takes time. So I know my written blog will never go away and meanwhile the YouTube and Vimeo channels will continue as well.

Thanks so much for stopping by and reading.

The New Youtube Channel

Although I have had the channel for a long time, it has sat dormant and now it is time to start populating the channel with content.  Please check it out and hit subscribe… it will get better I promise.